I will be moving on very soon. After 14 months of unemployment, worry, calling, applying, interviewing, disappointment, stress and many sleepless nights, my husband has gotten a wonderful job offer from a very good company near Madison, Wisconsin.
More than 15 years ago, after my husband graduated from the University of Wisconsin - Madison, it was our dream to settle down around Madison, begin careers and start a family. That dream wasn't meant to be at that time. My husband found work here in the Twin Cities, and we built a life here along the beautiful St. Croix River in a sweet (if a bit small) little house. Like anything else in life, there has been good and bad and in between, but mostly good.
And now we get a second chance at that dream of living in Madison. Only this time we have two children to uproot from the only home they have ever known. I am so conflicted. There are days when tears are very near the surface and I can barely seem to manage the simplest of household chores. There are other days when I keep thinking of getting a new (and bigger) house, and I can't help but get excited about it.
But there are a few memories of my house that I hold dear, and I can't help but replay them over and over in my head as I prepare to move on from the home I've had for 15 years. I used to hold my tiny babies and dance with them in the wee morning hours in my living room. During the holidays, I used to turn off all the lights and have only the Christmas tree lights on in that very same room. I used to wake up at 5 am to shovel snow after a blizzard, and I would gaze in wonder at the snow covered trees around my house. It is these quiet, beautiful moments that I will always keep close to my heart.
I don't know anyone who hates goodbyes as much as I do. Lately, with every football game and apple orchard outing, I've been looking around trying to commit as much of it to memory as I can. It hurts to know how very much I will miss my life here. But what hurts even more is knowing that I will move on and forget much of the little things that made up the fabric of my days here in Hudson. After awhile I won't remember them all. I will pick up new threads and create a new life. And while that is what I need to do now, it still makes me sad.
This last year has been a long journey. But I am confident that the future holds good things for us. Our heads and eyes are up, and we are moving forward.
