Sunday, September 19, 2010

Ask Not What Your Mother Can Do For You . . .

ask what you can do for your mother.

Yesterday morning, my son had a flag football game. We had to arrive an hour and 45 minutes early for practice and individual and team photos. I stood with the other mothers filling out forms and choosing portrait packages. All of the usual banter was going on . . . Do we put our son's photo on trading cards? Did you know they can put the photos on a fake magazine cover? I was lamenting the fact that my son had, that very morning, fallen at the park and scraped up the front of his nose. This is usually something that happens every portrait day. Another mother told me to have his photos retouched, but I said I wanted to "keep it real". Truth is, I probably wouldn't recognize my son with every scrape and bruise retouched.

We watched the boys line up and get their individual photos taken. My son knelt on one knee, football helmet in front of him, holding a football and smiling his gap-toothed smile with a big scrape on his nose. Classic. This moment would be forever preserved in time.

After individual photos, the boys had to wait around to have their team photo taken. I was supervising my son, and standing where I could see the other players have their individual photos taken. There is a set of identical twin boys on my son's team. Their Mom always looks frazzled. I can't imagine having twin seven-year-old boys. The twins' Mom was watching her boys have their photos taken. When the second twin was posing, I heard the Mom mumble something about his shoelace being untied. She yelled out to her son to tie it, but he didn't hear her. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the Mom dive onto the ground to tie the laces on her son's cleats just as the photographer snapped the photo. We all stood for a moment not quite believing that she did that. The photographer admonished her for ruining the photo, and she got up, brushed the dirt and grass off herself and muttered, "I didn't want the laces untied in the picture." One of the other mothers took her by the arm, and the rest of us gathered around her and showed our support. Poor thing. If I ever had any perfectionist tendencies, I gave them up years ago. It's just easier.

There are times in every mother's life when she wants to throw up her hands and give up. Preoccupied husbands, ungrateful kids, unending mind-numbing tasks . . . they take their toll. And in the end, whether they remember it or not, children have their mothers to thank for standing in endless lines to sign them up for swim/dance/sports/music lessons, driving them to all their activities, making sure they have everything they need for said activities, and giving them encouragement the whole time. And what do we get in return? Well-rounded, intelligent, confident, talented children, of course. And, if we're lucky and strive to make it happen, perfect photos will adorn the walls of our rooms in a nursing home one day. Photos of our children with every hair in place and every shoelace tied. Or not. I prefer to remember the missing teeth, the scrapes and scratches and hair that sticks up in the back. These imperfect days are precious and fleeting.

Here's a video for the twins' Mom and any mother who has at one time or another felt overwhelmed and wanted to throw up her hands and walk away from it all. If I could choose one person whose voice I would like to have, it would be Adele. There is something about this video that I love. She looks like a school girl, and then she sings effortlessly and beautifully with this incredible voice. Her mother must be very proud.


Thursday, September 2, 2010

If You're Vapid and You Know It, Clap Your Hands


Clap, clap.

I'm trying to pinpoint the exact moment in time when the minutia in my life became mountains.

A couple of days ago, I was wandering around my local Target store which is in the process of being remodeled to include a larger grocery section. Most everything has been relocated in the store, and I miss the layout that I knew like the back of my hand. I used to be able to go in that store, get what I needed, check out and be back in the car in about eight minutes flat - depending on the wait in the checkout line.

I wandered and wandered in the unfamiliar territory in search of kitty litter which I found directly across from the men's underwear. I guess they haven't completely finished moving things around and some merchandise is in a temporary location.

The longer I spent in the store, the more agitated I became. I ended up leaving the store and forgetting half of what I went there for because I was so confused by the whole experience. I stood in the checkout line lamenting that it had become such a bad day - all brought on by the Target remodel. And I wondered at what point did something so minor become so paramount in my mind.

I never did transition well. My teachers used to tell me that change is the only constant in life. And they were right about that. Well, change and my cooking disasters . . .

I remind myself of the three goldfish we have in an aquarium. I often stare at them and wonder if they are happy. They swim around, and mostly look for food. They have everything they need, water pump and food, all in a carefully decorated environment. They seem content. And then every three weeks or so, I come in and pull them out of the tank in a net and put them in a bucket while I clean the tank. They hardly swim in the bucket. Mostly they just look terrified until they are back in the safety of their familiar tank.

I need to come out of my fish tank and work on being a little less self-absorbed. I can't tell you how many times I have tried to teach my kids to "roll with it" when things go wrong. I often tell them "This doesn't have to ruin your day" when they are met with an obstacle on their road to happiness.

My life has changed so much in the last few years. Sometimes I feel like Dorothy in Oz who, while dreaming of a place where there isn't any trouble, just crash landed in an unfamiliar territory full of munchkins and wicked witches. Dorothy navigated her way past evil trees and flying monkeys and managed to hold onto her ruby slippers and help her friends too. She surrounded herself with her dog and her friends and never lost sight of her goal. But even Dorothy's goal was to get home where things were safe and familiar.

Note to self: Take things in stride. Come out of your "shell" more. Don't dwell on minutia. Don't let anything or anyone ruin your day. The power to do things is always within you. And, even though you need to get out and experience some wild and exciting things in life, there really is no place like home. And try not to blog when your thoughts are all disjointed and you ramble on and on and don't make sense. And don't ever lose your sense of humor.


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Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Alone Again, Naturally

Today is the start of a brand new school year. And while I've looked forward to this day for about two and a half months now, I'm not feeling as jubilant as I thought I would. The peace and quiet I had craved almost seems deafening. And I can't remember all the things I felt needed to be done when the kids were in school and I would have all the time in the world to do them. It's just me and a snoring cat.

On the bright side, I'm going to save a lot of money by not drinking Kahlua for breakfast to get me through the day full of kids arguing and yelling and hitting each other.

Here's a little blast from the past. A song so sweet and sad that it remains in my memory from childhood. They don't make songs like this anymore. A gift from me to you on a beautiful late summer day that I will spend trying to cope with all the quietness.



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Saturday, August 21, 2010

Summer

I'm watching these last days of summer fly by. It has been a wonderful, wonderful time.

There have been freeze pops.


Playgrounds


Pools


Baseball with Coach Pedro - a great guy who always praised a job well done.


Even Gita wanted a pair of flip flops.


There were lemonade stands (and chocolate chip cookies too!)


We even had a marketing guy who circled the neighborhood to drum up business and took orders from the tennis court across the street. He even took lemonade orders and delivered them to the park.


Our wonderful Hudson, Wisconsin, Fourth of July parade. We have a Miss Hudson and her court of princesses. They have a great parade dance . . .


Our Hudson Raiders High School Band which is awesome.


And some reminders in a container of impatiens: Imagine, Believe, Dream, Faith, Simplify.

Hope you had a good summer too.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

25 More Things You Don't Know About Me

My last post got me to thinking about what an oddball I really am, and a friend of mine emailed and mentioned a few unusual things that I totally forgot about. I'm finding this introspection oddly cathartic, so I thought I'd put out another list:

25 More Things You Don't Know About Me:

1) I am developing clostrophobia more and more with each passing year. I had a panic attack not long ago when I crawled under a bed to get something I had stored there.

2) I once rode in an elevator with Bryan Adams just before he became a successful artist.

3) I like to lie down on my deck and look up at the blue sky and think.

4) I intentionally play dumb to irritate people.

5) I have only had one job that I truly loved, and, unfortunately, I wasn't there very long.

6) I had a "bucket list" years before the movie made them popular.

7) I think Cher is cooler than Madonna and Lady Gaga put together.

8) My dream is to own a yarn shop.

9) My other dream is to be a backup singer for Kid Rock.

10) Josh Holloway makes me weak in the knees.

11) I know how to sew, but somehow none of my sewing projects ever turned out.

12) I loved it when my kids were babies.

13) I am fearless when I become angry. Much like the Incredible Hulk, only not green. And I'm loud when I'm angry.

14) Whenever I go to a concert, I stare at the stage and wish I could feel what it is like to have the talent to stand up there and entertain people.

15) I used to perform ballet en pointe. I still have my toe shoes.

16) I am a helluva baton twirler. A lost art if ever there was one.

17) I have been afraid to walk outside in the dark since I saw "I Am Legend" awhile back. There might just be zombies in that big pine tree . . .

18) I can sing "Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man" from Showboat.

19) I make fantastic omelettes.

20) I often have epic cooking disasters.

21) I can't swim.

22) I sing and dance when I vacuum.

23) I think my husband is one of the smartest men I've ever met, and not just because he married me.

24) I believe I am clairsentient and am adept at reading people.

25) My cat and I are so tuned into each other that she wakes me up when I'm having a bad dream. Cats are so much cooler than people.


Friday, August 13, 2010

25 Things You Didn't Know About Me

There have been a number of bloggers and Facebook people posting "25 Things" lists. So, I thought, what the heck? It's fun to be a little sophomoric and self-absorbed now and then. Here's my list:

1) My favorite time of day is mid-afternoon.

2) I hate Sundays.

3) My favorite flowers are ivory roses, irises and lily of the valley.

4) My favorite season is fall.

5) My favorite holiday is Christmas.

6) I hate losing things, and I can still remember everything I've ever lost. And, yes, it still bugs me that I lost those things.

7) I can't stand to have people touch my head or hair.

8) I eat all the topping off my pizza before eating the crust. Always have, always will.

9) I hate driving.

10) I have freakishly strong eye muscles. I am frequently amaze eye doctors.

11) I have a debilitating fear of bats. Probably from watching my mother catch and boil one on the stove once. This was years before "Fatal Attraction". The woman was ahead of her time.

12) My eyelids don't close all the way when I sleep.

13) I was once told that I look like Ava Gardner. And Sela Ward. That was awhile ago.

14) I would only want to be young again if I could take my 40-ish brain with me back in time.

15) I hate funeral visitations. And I hate the time after a person's burial when everyone walks away from the grave and leaves the deceased behind, even though I know it has to be done. And I hate how the world just keeps going when you are so filled with grief that you want to scream and just wish everything would stop. It bothers me when people die. Always.

16) My favorite Beatle was Paul. And my favorite song is "Let it Be".

17) My favorite poet is W.B. Yeats. And my favorite poem is "When You Are Old" by Yeats.

18) I've loved every cat I've ever met.

19) Dogs love me, and I love most of them right back. Except for the little yappy ones that look like rats.

20) I miss the '80s. Especially the obscure '80s songs. And the hair. All of the hairspray I used in the '80s is responsible for a great deal of the global warming. I had great '80s hair.

21) I wish I had a Volkswagen Beetle. My parents had an orange one once, and I loved it.

22) I used to be able to recite almost all of the lines in the movie "Gone With the Wind". Fiddle dee dee.

23) My kids once irritated me so much, I took a wine bottle out and tried to open it with a corkscrew, but it was a twist-off cap. I jammed the corkscrew right through the metal cap. I really needed that drink.

24) I taught myself how to knit. My first project was a seed stitch and cabled set of mittens. I only ever finished one. It is orange. And, yes, I still have it.

25) Every day of my life I wake up and wonder what I want to be when I grow up.


Monday, August 9, 2010

School Registration Haikus

School registration was this morning. The lines weren't too long. The children were ill-behaved. I think I turned in all 5,000 forms properly filled out and signed. They gave me an additional form to be filled out by our pediatrician to allow my son to have an asthma inhaler at school. Just one more hoop to jump through.

By the time I got the lunch accounts set up and payments made, my head felt like it was ready to burst, and I was ready to run away screaming like a banshee.

This day calls for some haikus:

School registration
Forms and money fly about
How I dread this chore

School photos taken
The boy's hair won't stay in place
Alfalfa photo

Dress shirt, vest, red socks
How young boys dress for photos
Like 70's pimp

Pink argyle sweater
Angelic smile on sweet face
You don't fool your Mom

Endless wait in lines
This day calls for alcohol
Next time pack a flask

I am crabby now
Children starting to act up
Where's my padded cell?

I made these up while trying to keep my sanity in line this morning. Something about registration day with the principal present (along with all the administrative staff, some teachers and other parents) just causes my kids to go berzerk. I hate it when you leave a place and you know that they're going to talk about how naughty your kids are when you're gone. And you'd think that I would be used to that by now.

Reminder to self: There is a new guidance counselor at school this year. I'm going to have to get in touch with her to let her know why the last guidance counselor had my phone number on speed dial.