Happy Blogiversary to Me!

My blog is one year old today. I must say that this last year went by really, really quickly.

I'd like to thank all of my readers for checking in on me here and reading my ramblings. Hopefully, I've made you laugh or cry or made you think at some point this last year.

I'd especially like to thank my loyal readers: Our Lady Celia of the Comments - my number one supporter. I probably kept up with the blog this long because of you. Mother Heller - I'm glad you can share in the antics of your grandchildren and have a good laugh. Mrs. DPM - my very best friend always. What would I do without you? Kayla Joy - Thanks for always telling me how much you enjoy the blog. You will always be my extreme cheerleader. And my friends Karen and Gayle who email me often to check up on me. I'm glad you keep in touch. And to my husband and kids - my greatest inspirations - thank you for all the great material to blog about.

I frequently get questions about the blog. The most popular are: 1) How come you never show any of your knitting projects when the blog is titled "Knitting and Mayhem"? Answer: My last couple of knitting projects did not turn out very well, and I don't really get much time to knit lately. Since I started reading the "Twilight" series of books by Stephenie Meyer, I don't knit much at all.

2) Do you make up some of your stories? Answer: No. My life is really that strange. I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried. Yes, I really do swear at Japanese beetles, fall off of chairs in the doctor's office, start fires in my bathroom, throw defective hair styling equipment into snowbanks, and use powdered sugar instead of flour in banana bread recipes. That's just me. I'm cool like that. And I hope someday that will all be mentioned in my obituary. My life is like one long Carol Burnett show full of ridiculously funny skits.

3) Where do you get the ideas for some of the blog posts/how do you go about writing the posts? Ideas pop into my head all the time. I can wake up in the middle of the night with an idea, or I can mull something over for a couple of days. I do keep a notebook with ideas for future blog posts. Most of the time, my thoughts just come barreling through as I'm typing.

Now, I have a request of all of my readers. I'd love to hear which of my blog posts is your favorite. Please email or comment.

Thanks again my loyal readers. This blog has helped me so much. Being a stay-at-home Mom can be very isolating - especially for someone as social as myself. I originally created this blog as a way to get through the long days. I've discovered so much about myself along the way - mostly I learned that I am in charge of my own happiness. Just like Dorothy in the "Wizard of Oz" - I learned that I had the power all along. I can't wait to see where this next year takes me. You can read about it here.

"So often times it happens that we live our lives in chains. And we never even know we have the key." Lyrics from "Already Gone" by the Eagles

But Who's Counting????

Fifty days until school starts. Only 50 more days of crabby kids, crabby Mom, arguments, kids hitting each other with tennis racquets and damaging my shrubs with tennis balls, throwing clumps of dirt into their swimming pool, catching frogs and scaring their Mom with them, leaving dirty socks and Capri Sun packets around the house, and gluing sequins on the cat.

I even told my son that I would send him away to live in a camp if he kept being crabby. I threatened to take away every one of my daughter's possessions if she lost one more thing. My life has reached a whole new level of suck.

There isn't enough alcohol on the planet to get me through the next 50 days.

Another Day, Another Trip to Urgent Care

My son cut his knee open yesterday and had to have stitches. Of course, I was right behind him when it happened. Every time that child has gotten seriously hurt, I've been right there by him.

Around 4:30 yesterday afternoon, he got out of our pool, ran up onto our deck, through our carpeted dining room and into the kitchen where he slid on the floor and into the corner of a wall by our refrigerator. I knew the minute I heard him screaming that it wasn't good.

I drove him to our clinic's urgent care because it wasn't bleeding a whole lot. They cleaned it and numbed it which took about 45 minutes. His sister and I sat there with him in the tiny waiting room. She was in her wet swimsuit with a cover-up on, and she was freezing. To pass the time, I got a pen out of my purse and let them play tic-tac-toe on the paper cover of the table in the waiting room. My daughter was on the rolling stool, and she bumped the table causing the roll of paper to come loose from under the table. I tried to replace it, and I asked her to get off of the rolling stool so that I could sit on it and try to replace the paper roll. Leaning over the table was making me dizzy.

As I tried to sit on the stool, it shot out from under me, and I fell on the floor and the roll of paper went everywhere. Just then, the nurse came in the room, and the look on her face was priceless. I started babbling about what I was doing. She seemed completely understanding. Obviously, her years of working in pediatrics with small children gave her the skills she needed to deal with me.

After an excruciating ten minutes of the doctor stitching up the cut, we were allowed to go home. Now, the fun begins. I have a very active six-year-old who can't bike or run for at least two weeks.

Please send good thoughts my way . . .

Incentive

Last Friday was a difficult day. Both kids had just finished up a two-week session of Red Cross swim lessons, and I was told that Joe did not pass Level 1 because he needs to work on his backfloat, but he was close. Kate did not pass Level 3 because she didn't have a strong front crawl, but she was close. So, I took the kids to the park after swim lessons, and then gave them an ice cream treat that afternoon to ease the sting of not passing.

Today was the start of the second session, and both kids were troopers. Kate went back to Level 3, and Joe was back in Level 1 with a little girl he knew who also didn't pass on Friday. Things were fine, I started reading my book, and a woman tapped my arm and asked, "Isn't that your little boy?" Before I could look up, I started wondering what he had done now. Then I saw him being switched over to Level 2 along with the little girl. Cool. Joe now has a wild swim instructor who likes to lipsynch songs and dance at the edge of the pool. They seem to be bonding given their mutual love of all things fun, and Joe's backfloat is fine now.

Just when Joe got settled in Level 2, Kate was being led up to Level 4. Her instructor is the brother of the wild and crazy guy who teaches Joe now. She still struggles a bit with her front crawl, and she's slower than the other students, though her technique looks good to me. She really tried hard all through class doing her best on her backstroke and treading water. At the end of class, instead of having free time, she asked the instructor if she could jump off the diving board. She loves diving.

When the class was over, she came over to me for her towel, and her little face was all lit up by her smile. I said, "Look at you! You are really working hard and trying your best!" She kept smiling and looked me in the eye and said, "I want to stay in Level 4 with the cute instructor."

My genes have surfaced again.

Everything

I'm not sure what my problem is lately.  I'm jumpy, crabby, and I can't remember anything at all (I forgot the word "popsicle" the other day.)  All of this end-of-school-year stuff just has me so preoccupied.  And then there are the day-to-day hurdles.  Yesterday, my daughter handed me her eyeglasses, in two pieces.  This is about three weeks to the day that her brother also handed me his eyeglasses in two pieces.  I suppressed the urge to scream both times.  

I am nervous about my daughter's dance recital this week.  She did beautifully at her dress rehearsal last weekend.  All of the other girls in her dance class (except one) knew each other from a parochial school here in Hudson.  And those girls were not accepting of Kaitlyn for most of the year.  Kaitlyn has handled it like a trooper.  I see her making attempts to talk to the other girls from time to time.  Sometimes they dismiss her by completely ignoring her.  Sometimes they are nice.  This "girl stuff" just keeps getting more and more frustrating all the time.  I spoke to the other little girl who was an "outsider" in this class at dress rehearsal.  She is giving up dance after this year.  She seems to want to turn her back on all of it and start something new.  Either gymnastics or karate she told me.  Kaitlyn is not letting herself be affected by any of the things that happened this year.  She is becoming more resilient with time.  (This should serve her well in the future.)  Ms. Jennifer has given her such a love of dance that she has not only signed up for tap and jazz again next year, but she wants to be in ballet also.  I will be living part-time at the dance studio next year.  

I am seeing a subtle change in my daughter lately.  She is still very, very shy, but she has become aware of a way to break the ice with people she doesn't know.  She smiles.  This has proven to be a very effective way to get attention.  She smiled at a boy in the local grocery store, and he turned around to stare at her while he was walking, and he walked right into a pole in the middle of the aisle.  We had a good laugh about that.  In any event, she seems to be making baby steps out of her shyness, which is a very good thing.  

And then there is my boy.  He draws pictures of me and him on little post-it notes and gives them to me.  He always draws us smiling with hearts and trees and birds and flowers surrounding us.  And he always scrawls "Joe" and "Mom" and draws a little heart between the words.  I am keeping all these little scraps of love notes in a box to look at when I am old(er) and gray.  

I had lunch with him last week.  One of the recess monitors at school saw me with him.  Her son is in the same grade as Kaitlyn, and she knew I was Kaitlyn's mother, but she didn't know that Joe was my son.  She could not believe that my two kids were siblings because they are polar opposites.  I hear this all the time.  Kaitlyn is shy and Joe is, well, he's something else.  I guess the world would be pretty boring if we were all the same.  Sometimes I think it would make my home life a little easier though . . . 

So, this video is dedicated to my two kids.  You get me through my crabby days, and you love me in spite of myself.  I love you right back.  You are my everything.  

A Simpler Time

I listen to the radio a lot.  It is usually on in the house as I go about my day.  It is always on in the car.  It always amazes me how a song can bring back such vivid memories.  Smells can do that also - a certain perfume that I wore in college will always remind me of that time.  The smell of lily of the valley and lilacs always reminds me of playing in the front yard of the house where I grew up.  The front of the house faced north, and in the northwest corner of the house there was a square flower garden where we had rose bushes, irises, a bleeding heart bush (I just bought one of them and plan to plant it on the north side of my house), snow on the mountain, and lily of the valley.  We had three lilac trees in our yard right next to the long gravel driveway.  A light purple one by the road that went past our house, and another light purple one and a white one further up the driveway.  The white lilac tree was tallest, and it had a branch on it that I used to swing from when I was very little.  I actually have a picture of me swinging from that branch.  How I cherish that picture.  

The other day, as I was driving around town, I heard an old country song "Happiest Girl in the Whole USA" by Donna Fargo.  Immediately, I was transported back to a cold winter morning when I was little.  Mom would bundle me up in a blanket and sit me at the kitchen table where she would serve me chocolate Malt o Meal and milk in my favorite white mug with red roosters on it.  I have the mug packed away somewhere, and it just dawned on me that maybe the mug is the reason I recently decorated my kitchen in roosters, and I love it.  

I would sit at the table early in the morning, and a small white radio would be playing the local AM radio station music.  There was nothing spectacular that ever happened that stands out in my memory, but it is that wonderful, drafty old house, and my Mom, and the feeling of love and safety (for lack of a better word) that I remember.  Funny how after all the things my parents did - road trips, county fairs, presents at Christmas - it is the smallest, most ordinary things that I treasure about childhood.  

And so, this video is dedicated to my parents.  They were (as my father would say) "solid as Sears", and they always made sure that I had everything I needed.  And they have provided me with a lifetime of good memories that I hold close to my heart and think of often.  

Doors

"When God closes one door, He opens another."  Proverb

Sometimes, I think I stare at the closed door for so long that I miss seeing the open door.  

This is my least favorite time of year.  Endings.  Goodbyes.  Moving on from one phase of life to another.  I have always believed that my kids don't transition well, but really it's me who resists change.  I don't always take time to stand back and enjoy the process of things.  I'm in such a hurry to see the end, the final product, the culmination of so much time and effort.  And when the end is in sight, I can't believe that the end is near.  

Last Sunday was my last day teaching Sunday School.  All my kids were there on the final day, so I had my hands full.  The wonderful Isabelle wore a pretty black dress and had her hair crimped in honor of the last day of class.  Her dress was held together in the back with safety pins.  She told me it was really her older sister's dress.  

The little fashionista girl was there in a very fashionable outfit.  The smiley boy was there.  Joe was there.  And the quiet boy whose grandpa had died last fall was there too.  We had our last small-group class, and then we joined all the kids ages 6 and under for large group lessons.  It was time to sing and dance to some songs, and Isabelle turned around and told me, "It's time for us to dance and for you to drink your coffee."  Guilty.  Those kids pick up on everything.  

At the end of class, the kids got a dilly bar, and I asked each one of them a question about themselves to pass the final minutes.  Then I asked them if any of them had a question for me.  Isabelle's hand shot up in the air and she asked, "If you got a yellow dog, would you name it Goldie?"  I told her that I would name that dog Nala like the lioness from the Lion King.  Then the fashionista girl asked me, "What color are your eyes - really?"  I have very green eyes, and I wear blue gas permeable contacts, so my eyes look like a weird murky green color.  

Then it was time to go.  I offered each child the choice of a handshake, a hug or a high five.  The girls gave big running hugs.  Two from the fashionista, and then her father came to get her.  One hug from the smiley boy.  Joe met up with his sister and went to sit on the couches in the lounge area of the church.  The quiet boy had put his hands in his pockets and took off without my noticing.  No goodbye from him.  And then it was me and Isabelle who stood with her blonde crimped hair and ill-fitting dress looking up at me smiling.  "I like you" she said, "I didn't think I would."  I asked her if she still thought that I didn't look like a nice person.  She said, "Sometimes.  You need to smile more."  And then she hugged my leg and ran off to meet her Mom.  She didn't look back.  I stood for a minute with a picky feeling behind my eyes which always signals oncoming tears.  I blinked them back and looked back at the empty Sunday School room.  And I smiled and shut the door.  

"It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new.  But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful.  There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power."  Alan Cohen  

My daughter tends to see everything negatively.  Every day after school, I ask the kids how their day was.  Kaitlyn always gives me the same "Napoleon Dynamite" answer, "It was the worst day of my life!"  Last Tuesday, I had lunch at school with her.  She sits with a wonderful group of girls.  We talked all through lunch, though Kate remained quiet.  One little girl remarked how much Kate and I look alike.  We smiled at that.  Then we went out for recess, and Kaitlyn had to show me all the stuff she can do on the monkey bars.  Various little third graders would come up to me and strike up a conversation.  I had a wonderful time.  And then it was time to go and Kate was sad.  She has had a rough year in third grade.  She never made friends with any of the girls in her class, just girls in the other third grade classes.  Her teacher was very nice, and Kate liked her very much.  I believe Kate learned a lot this year, and she's getting excellent marks, but there was something about this year that just never "clicked" for her.  There is a rotten girl in her class that picked on her for most of the year.  I hope and pray that kid either goes to a different school or she isn't in Kate's class next year.  For the first time ever, I think I'll be happy to see her graduate to the next grade.  This is a door that I'm happy to close.  

"When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves."  Victor Frankl

And then there is my "Almost First Grader".  I am sad beyond belief that my last kindergartener is moving on to first grade.  He brought home a note from his teacher yesterday that said, "Joe had a terrific day today - not one reminder about a thing!"  He was so proud to show it to me.  I put it up on the refrigerator for everyone to see.  I am so proud of him and his good report.  

A couple of weeks ago, I chaperoned the kindergarteners on a bumper bowling field trip.  We walked to a local bowling alley and bowled six frames.  What a fun time.  I have so many good memories of his kindergarten year.  I was able to volunteer a lot in that classroom, and I enjoyed every minute of it.  I am so sad to see this special year end for him.  But he is ready to move on, and he's really ready for summer vacation.  Every year on the last day of school, I take the kids pictures and give them a kiss for the last time as a Kindergartener, third grader, etc.  And then I compare that picture to the picture of them on the first day of school, and then I cry for about an hour.  I will cry the last time we walk out of the kindergarten room and that door shuts behind us.  This year really went by quickly.  

"If you're in a bad situation, don't worry it'll change.  If you're in a good situation, don't worry it'll change."  John A. Simone, Sr.  

This was a special year for Kaitlyn in dance class.  You might remember that I blogged about it last fall.  She has worked so hard.  And she has had the most fantastic dance teacher.  A couple of weeks ago, I asked the teacher if she would be teaching the 9-10 year olds next year, and she told me that she gave her notice and won't be teaching next year.  She wants to spend some time with her husband, and she teaches for the Park and Rec Department in River Falls.  I practically started crying right then and there.  This lady is such a wonderful teacher and free spirit.  She literally dances through life, and she is the best teacher that Kate could have ever had.  Kate learned so much from her and had a lot of fun while she was learning it.  

The last day of class was Thursday.  We got the teacher, Miss Jennifer, a pink rose with baby's breath and a thank you card from Kaitlyn.  I wrote her a letter thanking her for all her hard work.  Sometimes Kaitlyn has two left feet, but she has the heart of a dancer, and Miss Jennifer helped her shine.  She instilled so much self-confidence in Kaitlyn, and when Kate looks back on her years of dance lessons, she will always remember Miss Jennifer.  

At the last dance class, Miss Jennifer drew face paint on the girls.  One symbol was for a warrior, and the other symbol was for the first woman president.  Each girl got to show off a move that she learned that year, and then was presented with a certificate.  Miss Jennifer thanked all of us parents for the gift of letting her get to know our daughters.  And yes, I blinked back tears.  I gathered Kate and her dance shoes and her certificate, and we got ready to leave.  Kate was bouncing off the walls from such a fun last class.  I felt a pang of sadness as we walked out the door for the last time this year.  Her dance school isn't a very friendly place.  It is very competitive.  It wasn't until Kate got in Ms. Jennifer's class that she really started having fun.  Kate is determined to earn a "five-year pin" from this school, and she has two more years of lessons before she can do that.  I hope she has fun these next two years.  And Miss Jennifer told Kate that she might come back for the 2010-11 classes.  I'll keep my fingers crossed.  This door might not be fully closed after all.  

"It's always something."  Roseanne Roseannadanna

And now we're starting up t-ball for Joe and junior fast-pitch softball for Kate.  Joe is quite serious about baseball this year, and he's loving it so far.  Kate is holding her own on a team of very talented softball players.  

The dance recital is coming up complete with dress rehearsal, costumes, and lots of other mayhem.  These next two weeks are filled with field trips and school picnics.  And soon, the kids will be enjoying summer school, summer swim lessons, more t-ball and softball, an art class for Kate at the local performing arts center, and day camp for both kids.  I'm keeping them busy.  I know the end of summer will come all too quickly, but I'm usually ready for them to get back to school in the fall, and that transition won't be so hard.  

And soon I'll file away the last school papers and art projects from this school year.  I'll retire the worn-out backpacks they used all year.  We'll turn our attention to all the fun that summer has in store for us - the newly opened door.  

And what makes me really sad is that soon I'll get over missing the kindergarten room, and the Sunday School class, and Ms. Jennifer's dance class.  They will become fading memories in a whole sea of fading memories.  But when we look back, we'll smile and hopefully will be able to open the door of our memories enough to catch a glimmer of the happy feelings we once had.  

"Nature's first green is gold, Her hardest hue to hold.  Her early leaf's a flower; But only so an hour.  Then leaf subsides to leaf.  So Eden sank to grief, So dawn goes down to day.  Nothing gold can stay."   "Nothing Gold Can Stay" by Robert Frost