Thursday, September 2, 2010
If You're Vapid and You Know It, Clap Your Hands
I'm trying to pinpoint the exact moment in time when the minutia in my life became mountains.
A couple of days ago, I was wandering around my local Target store which is in the process of being remodeled to include a larger grocery section. Most everything has been relocated in the store, and I miss the layout that I knew like the back of my hand. I used to be able to go in that store, get what I needed, check out and be back in the car in about eight minutes flat - depending on the wait in the checkout line.
I wandered and wandered in the unfamiliar territory in search of kitty litter which I found directly across from the men's underwear. I guess they haven't completely finished moving things around and some merchandise is in a temporary location.
The longer I spent in the store, the more agitated I became. I ended up leaving the store and forgetting half of what I went there for because I was so confused by the whole experience. I stood in the checkout line lamenting that it had become such a bad day - all brought on by the Target remodel. And I wondered at what point did something so minor become so paramount in my mind.
I never did transition well. My teachers used to tell me that change is the only constant in life. And they were right about that. Well, change and my cooking disasters . . .
I remind myself of the three goldfish we have in an aquarium. I often stare at them and wonder if they are happy. They swim around, and mostly look for food. They have everything they need, water pump and food, all in a carefully decorated environment. They seem content. And then every three weeks or so, I come in and pull them out of the tank in a net and put them in a bucket while I clean the tank. They hardly swim in the bucket. Mostly they just look terrified until they are back in the safety of their familiar tank.
I need to come out of my fish tank and work on being a little less self-absorbed. I can't tell you how many times I have tried to teach my kids to "roll with it" when things go wrong. I often tell them "This doesn't have to ruin your day" when they are met with an obstacle on their road to happiness.
My life has changed so much in the last few years. Sometimes I feel like Dorothy in Oz who, while dreaming of a place where there isn't any trouble, just crash landed in an unfamiliar territory full of munchkins and wicked witches. Dorothy navigated her way past evil trees and flying monkeys and managed to hold onto her ruby slippers and help her friends too. She surrounded herself with her dog and her friends and never lost sight of her goal. But even Dorothy's goal was to get home where things were safe and familiar.
Note to self: Take things in stride. Come out of your "shell" more. Don't dwell on minutia. Don't let anything or anyone ruin your day. The power to do things is always within you. And, even though you need to get out and experience some wild and exciting things in life, there really is no place like home. And try not to blog when your thoughts are all disjointed and you ramble on and on and don't make sense. And don't ever lose your sense of humor.