Tuesday, August 19, 2008

My Self-Adjusting Universe

The boom has lowered. The other shoe has dropped. Murphy has written a couple of new laws in my honor. Chaos reigns supreme.

My house is a pile of puzzle pieces, glue sticks, Barbies dressed like hookers and little Army men who are fighting some unseen enemy. I know how the Army men must feel. I am having the type of day where I feel like I'm suffocating. It has become a major chore to get things done around here between playdates, school registration, registering for various extra curricular activities, and back-to-school shopping. I have had so much coffee today, my hair is growing nerve endings.

I took my darling daughter clothes shopping recently. She talked me into going to one of those trendy pre-teen places with the thumping dance music, bright lights and perfectly-accessorized, very fashionably-dressed mannequins. She was in Heaven. She floated about the store pulling things off racks while my young son found all kinds of things to get into. While two teenaged size zero store employees with bright blonde hair and bright white smiles were helping her, ("Maybe we should help her" they said after seeing my attempts to get my daughter interested in some jeans that would actually cover her rear end) my son found it highly amusing to spin the circular clothes racks and hug the mannequins. I foolishly took a minute to look at some scarves, and while my back was turned, my son somehow ended up in the store's window display. (BTW - The look on the faces of the passers-by was priceless.) By the time we selected three outfits (out of about 20), I felt like I had been beaten with a baseball bat. I have seen a glimpse of Hell, and it is filled with overpriced sequined preteen clothing that has skulls on it.

This is all probably payback for last weekend when I told a Jehovah's Witness that I was a practicing witch. Who knew those people could move so quickly?

I need more coffee. Coffee is going to get me through this day.

"Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day." Winnie the Pooh


  1. Winnie is totally right!!! Be brave Mom, be brave :)

  2. I must say having a boy must be challenging. I really don't have any words of wisdom for you as I recently took two teenage girls back-to-school shopping. They would have bought everything in sight if I would have let them. Keep up the good work and know that all of us have felt your pain.