And the most irritating part of it all is that the people in my orbit who do have it together are completely oblivious to the fact that their spotless homes and manicured yards are unattainable for some of us. It really pisses me off.
I'm sure there will be a day when I have the house organized. You will be able to eat off my floors. The yard will be free of weeds. I will be oblivious to the plight of others who try to emulate me. And no one in the world will notice because they will all be busy talking about how Hell has just freaking frozen over.
In the meantime, I just keep plugging away at the impossible. And somehow I always manage to drop one of the balls I've been trying to juggle. Something should've been done or washed or ironed or mended or bought, etc., etc., etc.
In my heart, I long to be Captain Kirk from the old Star Trek TV series. Captain Kirk always got it right. He solved every problem, saved every galaxy, won every fight against every enemy, and he never, ever doubted himself while he was doing it. He boldly went where no man had ever gone before armed only with a faser, his good looks and an ego the size of the Milky Way. Captain Kirk had to be the inspiration for the phrase "Git R Done".
And then there was Mr. Jones. In every Star Trek episode there was a landing party that would beam down to explore a strange planet. The landing party usually consisted of Captain Kirk, Dr. McCoy, Mr. Spock, perhaps one of the other series regulars - Scotty or Sulu or Uhura. And then there was Mr. Jones. The neophyte. The unknown ensign. The expendable fifth wheel. Mr. Jones usually got turned into a small container of dust or died after uttering his one two-word line and then vanished completely. He boldly went nowhere. Done in by the evil forces inhabiting the strange planet. Mr. Jones did not have it together.
I feel like I'm in a perpetual "Mr. Jones" mode in a world of Captain Kirks. And no one can beam me out of here.
"Remember - you can't beam through a force field. So, don't try it." William Shatner